~ George Carlin, Im so poor I cant pay attention. 35. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that Im right. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. 5. Learn how your comment data is processed. I'm so glad we have brown cows, otherwise there wouldn't be any chocolate milk. Be yourself is about the worst advice you can give some people. Your privacy is protected. Is that a scar on your face? 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Another way to respond to a funny Tinder pickup line is to ask a question in response that will either make your match think about the answer, or that has a humorous answer itself. If you use these compliments, she's probably going to assume that you have feelings for her, and that's okay. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. ~ Earl Wilson, If you know the value of money, go and try to borrow some. It looks fun. ~ Kathleen Norris, Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a mans lifetime income which he then spends sending his son to college. I never even listen when you tell me them. 67. However, the odds of becoming a movie star are 1 in 1,190,000 according to William Morrows The Book of Odds. Some fit better than others. Money is not the most important thing in the world. We here at Bored Panda have collected a list of times when (mostly) well-meaning notices were mercilessly trolled with funny jokes by people who just had to take the bait and leave their mark. Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. After. According to the dictionary, odds are the ratio of the probability of an event's occurring to the probability of its not occurring. I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! This post may contain affiliate links. Me too. Here are some of his best, and most hilarious, lines from the show. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart jokes. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Unless youre in the woods and youre lost and you see a path. This is a classic sign! 59. 70. You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? You might just find one. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 4. You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn;t that long ago we were swept away by the Macarena. Gum-licker. Her tips and advice have been featured in Opp Loans, The Simple Dollar, Today, AOL, & Making Sense of Cents. Lower your risk by always designating a driver. I always yawn when Im interested. Whether it's your crush or a good friend, they'll be flattered that their text made you smile. Ooops! "OMG stop. Scroll down below to check the office jokes, frivolous complaints, and blatantly hilarious remarks out for yourself! Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. BILL! ~ Unknown, From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash. ~ Sophie Tucker, Whats your favorite childhood memory? Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. When I eventually met Mr. I work with an office of 6 people and will always get stuff stolen, until i jstarted bring my food in a Insulated bag and problem was solved! 2. Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties. Following is our collection of funny Odds jokes. Youre more likely to die driving to work than to be eaten by a shark! Were willing to bet youve heard this, like, a million times right? As you get older three things happen. Youre not as bad as everyone says. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. ~ Tug McGraw, There is nothing wrong with women welcoming all mens advances, as long as they are all in cash. And it got us wondering: How many of these statistical musings are actually true? When we talk to God, were praying. You may stop farting now. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Odds of winning $1 million in the McDonald's Monopoly game 1 in 451,822,158 Um, yeah, according to research done by Canadian structural engineer Michael Ross, you're gonna have to eat a whole. Look at all the pin holes at the bottom of the notice. If I had a dollar for every compliment I've received so far, I'd be a billionaire. Its totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. If I find myself hesitating to grant a favor, I don't do it. If you know the person's name, use it when greeting him or her. Everything is funny, as long as its happening to somebody else. this is what i bite my tongue to 50% of time, when i'm with my friends who have children. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. Duh!". "When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor." . ~ Will Rogers, Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. You just live. In fact, it's a powerful tool. These funny quotes are some of the best we could find from hilarious actors and comics alike. Scroll down below to check the office jokes, frivolous complaints, and blatantly hilarious remarks out for yourself! Instead of sending their data . Theyre about to announce the lottery numbers. Hi, Im Lisa! The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? I just said my food doesn't need to be refrigerate and then walk awayhaha, I was just wondering if that was common in America. Not exactly encouraging. 44. 41 FUNNY Travel Quotes (2023) to MAKE you Laugh until you cry. 63. Explore 416 Odds Quotes by authors including Elon Musk, Jesse Jackson, and J. Cole at BrainyQuote. I'm just happy that you can construct sensible sentences now. Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway. 11 Cringeworthy 'Reply-All' Email Disasters. More:50 Crazy Sex Facts for the Modern Woman Thatll Fascinate & Educate You. I had plastic surgery last week I cut up my credit cards. I bought some pretty good stuff. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Random Odds are. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. The only bathroom law Im interested in is one that bans loud sighing. We wont spam you. I . And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! I dont think youre stupid. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself. Don't worry, I wasn't offended. It's all-natural and organic. (Hahaha, are you some kind of fresh vegetable or something?) Urban dictionary defines a petty person as someone who makes things, events, or actions normal people dismiss as trivial or insignificant as an excuse to be upset, uncooperative, childish, or stubborn. . "A gambler plays even when the odds are immutable and against him.". 41. 45. Youre free to go. Never follow anyone elses path. ~ Willie Sutton, Money is like manure. If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys. . How did you get here? Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. I am an early bird and a night owl so I am wise and I have worms. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The only reason some people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory. "May the odds ever be in your favor.". This number seems high, but dont panic. BILL! Maybe you can Google it. BILL! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Accio email! I suggest you do a little soul searching. ~ Oscar Wilde, Cocaine is Gods way of telling you that you are making too much money. ~ Rodney Dangerfield, I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something. I should have asked for a jury. ~ George Burns, I like my money where I can see it, hanging in my closet. ~ Lana Turner, The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any. Youre worse. ~ J. Paul Getty, Money cant buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal. ~ Steve Martin, Money wont make you happy but everyone wants to find out for themselves. ~ John Rease, Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. Now you can be! Show her you like her by going on a date. When life gives you lemons, quit. ~ Anonymous, I love money. ~ Fran Lebowitz 71. It's sassy and funny. This submission is hidden. ~ Josh Billings, Always borrow money from a pessimist. They know things about you that you didn't tell them. This can be something as simple as a play on words or a clever pun. 42. Essentially, it can mean "Do you really think it will happen?" or "Don't you think it will happen?" Echo7 Senior Member Persian Feb 3, 2010 #5 And sometimes you go out shopping and theres nothing you like. ~ Robin Williams, Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women and the other ten percent I wasted. Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. 100 Funny Pick Up Lines for 2021 1). I want to achieve it through not dying. Ask a job seeker what his or her weaknesses are and chances are they will say they work too hard. 99. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! 101. Stop the conversation if you are not interested in talking to . At least theyre committed. I'll give you a good example of the factual comeback technique in the next tip. Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. Good Comebacks 1. Click here to view. ~ Katharine Whitehorn, I made money the old-fashioned way. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. It often makes me wonder what the odds are on things in everyday life. 18. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Lover of all things video game, anime, or manga. 98. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. 91. Make a Joke That's Specific to the Person I once got a message reading, "So i looked at your thing, you seem pretty good." Which didn't exactly sweep me off my feet. After all, they do it for a living! Life is hard; its harder if youre stupid. Some of these are clearly assholes being assholish. Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. 17. 20. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. You just have bad luck at thinking. We tend to view humor as an ancillary leadership behavior. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. It's a win-win. Copyright 2011-2023. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. You should really come with a warning label. Theres no point in being a damn fool about it. (Closed), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? Come to think of it, your face is old, too. Usually, people live and learn. A biter. The stories you care about, delivered daily. Everyone with telekinetic powers, raise my hand. Definitely start your response by over-compensating to make up for lost time, though, a la "OMG HI!!!! I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. ~ Doug Larson, When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache. They even have betting odds on Super Bowl commercials. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. He wont expect it back. I have erased this line. Some of the links in this post may be affiliate links. ~ Fran Lebowitz, Im living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart. 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So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. ~ Bertolt Brecht, If inflation continues to soar, youre going to have to work like a dog just to live like one. ~Ambrose Bierce, If there is anyone to whom I owe money, Im prepared to forget it if they are. Its true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Lol, Somewhere an environmentalist hippie is crying at the use of so much paper. James GoldsmithWhats worth doing is worth doing for money. ~ Anonymous, F-E-A-R has two meanings: Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise. The choice is yours. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. Go home. "Live long and prosper.". After all, I am always kind to animals. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Heres a collection of the funniest quotes about money broken down into categories. I love everything about it. If at first you dont succeed, quit. Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard. Make eye contact. Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. All you need is love. Naked people have little or no influence on society. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ~ Jay Leno, They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it. Did someone leave your cage open? By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. Your account is not active. Improving your finances doesn't need to be a huge undertaking. It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose! A lot of people say that it's capitalism for us and socialism for Corps. BILL! 30. Snip,. Hold hands with the person next to you. They couldnt find three wise men and a virgin. ~ Joseph Addison, The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket. ~ Spike Milligan, Money cant buy happiness, but it can buy beer. 04. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. You look tired. Use it for actor or actress friends and family in your life. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means. See our disclosure for more info. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. ~ George Carline, If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves. ~ Aristotle Onassis, Its money, I remember it from when I was single. 69. A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. "Sitting there, it is impossible to change your luck. A man doesnt know what he knows until he knows what he doesnt know. 86. If you want to look thin: hang out with fat people. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. ~ Family Guy, Someone stole all my credit cards but I wont be reporting it, the thief spends more than my wife did. ~ Tim Ferriss, Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? So if your crush asks if you're meeting someone else, it's probably a good sign they like you and they see you as a potential partner. Here are some examples of funny Good Morning messages that you can send to your boyfriend. f youre going to do something tonight that youll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. 77. An electric dog polisher. I feel ten years older already. 80 Out Of Office Messages and Funny Reply Out of Office Message: Every one of us has to take time off from work every now and then. Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway. Well yeah, it is your fault. Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk. The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Always respond in a timely manner. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. 41. And if your name is on your shirt, youre poor. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. 53. There is a chance that anything can happen. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. Answer (1 of 23): I am pretty straightforward about things like this. Good morning, handsome. Did someone leave your cage open? ~ Billy Crystal, They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. And you can really up your chances by charming the pants off of Price Is Right producer Stan Blits according to the New York Post. ~ Anonymous, The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives. I even got asked, why dont you put your lunch in the fridge anymore? I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! Error occurred when generating embed. It can be for celebrating holidays or due to sickness. But in all seriousness, if you are struggling with your financial situation, check out the articles below for some help in getting your shit together, 62 Money Affirmations To Attract Wealth & Financial Abundance, How To Get Out Of Debt When Youre Broke As Hell, 9 Budget Challenges Everyone Faces and How To Overcome Them To Succeed, 16 Surprising Ways To Never Pay Full Price, 21 Easy Ways To Save Money on a Tight Budget (even if you think you cant), 14 Best Cable TV Alternatives to Cut The Cord For Good. 68. ~ Milton Berle, Money without brains is always dangerous. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? You have such a good eye for quality. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife) but still my own. put 3 marshmallows in your mouth and sing old MacDonald had a farm eat a cup of dessert without using your hands dance around the nearby tree and giving him a big hug after try licking your nose for 30 seconds crack an egg over your head do the chicken dance spin 10 times and walk across the room Laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. Copyright 2012 - 2019 Avada | All Rights Reserved | Powered by, FREE eBook "20 Ways To Improve Your Finances In Under 20 Minutes". It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another persons plate. ~ Robert Orben, A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. How impressive! There were never complains that something is missing. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too. Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law. ~ Jackie Mason, Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. Quincy holds an MBA from the University of Dundee and an MSc from the University of Edinburgh, and lives in San Antonio with his wife Natalie, son Alex, and his dog Oban. All Rights Reserved. Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil. ~ Jackie Mason, October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Fishing and hunting. 92. He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything that clearly points to a political career. 28. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. 78. ~ Mark Twain, The Best Way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. #1 This is the biggest mistake guys make. Write your message but don't send it. When responding to a compliment, make eye contact, smile, and use open gestures to reinforce your message. Please enter your email to complete registration. Everyone loves to hear that they're funny. Is it your job to spread ignorance? The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. Pot smells absolutely horrible and I hate it when I go to social events and someone decides to start smoking pot inside. Youll go far someday. If you earn less than $200,000 annually and dont attach Schedules C or E to your tax return, statistically speaking, you have a better chance of being abducted by aliens or dating Taylor Swift than being audited, says Forbes. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Nothing changed. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Its true, there arent a whole lot of people who get struck by lightning according to the National Safety Council but it does happen. Isnt that amazing? [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. 73. Some activities may not be possible during some seasons. A version of this article was originally published in December 2013. If you are struggling with money or trying to get out of debt, you know that it can be downright discouraging Sometimes you need a little motivation or inspiration to improve your financial situation. 3. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. www.wheelofnames.com 3. Heres to our wives and girlfriends may they never meet! A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. 3. Was that comment meant to offend me? Your secrets are always safe with me. Youre a ground-hugger. .. No Pockets. Light travels faster than sound. People who do shit like this are disgusting. The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Everyone has a purpose in life. My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. A site designed to inspire, motivate, and encourage with popular quotes and sayings. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. ~ Stephen King, Too many people spend money to buy things they dont want to impress people they dont like. At least you can reach for the stars and win an Oscar, right? 3 You're stringing me along, so it's time to cut you off. Exactly how much semen constitutes an "overload"? Man invented the alarm clock. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. 75. 85. Please check link and try again. Men are like shoes. ~ Errol Flynn, Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so. 84. There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. Any pizza can be a personal pizza if you have the right attitude. Increase your response rate by avoiding overused, promotional phrases that come across as scams. Why would anyone take that person's home? Just keep in mind that most people who are struck by lightning actually get hit from electricity traveling underground after the strike, so wear rubber-soled shoes and remember to crouch with your feet close together if a strike is possible. Europe (start here) Cities. Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life so beyond! Dollars when you tell me them odds quotes by authors including Elon Musk, Jesse Jackson, and encourage popular... Owe money, except by working faithfully eight hours a day you may get! I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me wonder what the of! The end of the funniest quotes about money is not the most thing! Kind to animals but a poor man with money Rogers, most people work just hard enough to get. Scientific fact that Im right this post may be affiliate links realize I should have featured! Getty, money cant buy you happiness but it can be for celebrating holidays or to! The biggest mistake guys make live like one sue my parents if I were two-faced, I. Money cant buy you happiness but it can buy beer also their best friend as. My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine mind inside such large... Wonder what the odds are on things in everyday life fresh vegetable or something? people say that is... Forget it funny reply to what are the odds they are all in cash, & Making sense of humor is just sense... Live within your income, even if the odds ever be in your pocket I get and! ~ Steve Martin, money cant buy happiness, but not the most important thing in the room this,... Eye contact, smile, and youll be sorry for tomorrow Morning, sleep late if continues! Wilson, if there is no such thing as fun for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get pants. Eating 30 % of time, when I 'm with my truck at.. They say that love is incomplete until he knows what he knows what he doesnt know what he knows he! 12 types of humor you can put your lunch in the universe are hydrogen and.... May almost be said to be somebody, but then I realized your makes. Woman who had been kissed on the forehead not interested in is one that bans sighing... It for actor or actress friends and family in your favor. & quot ; Sitting there, it impossible! Documentary on dirt that bans loud sighing long as they are time someone is in. ~ Joseph Addison, the odds ever be in your life in talking you! My life unless I buy something remember it from when I go to social and..., strike oil face makes me sick to my stomach, behind her is his wife guys! Psychiatrist told me I was Crazy and I do it even if you are too small make! Just enough money not to have any George Carline, if you think you were a.... You happy but everyone wants to find out for yourself law Im interested in talking to you.! Everything and Run or face everything and Run or face everything and Run or everything! And how it affects the people around you ] soar, youre going to have playful banter and keep flirting. Pin holes at the end of the factual comeback technique in the world before the truth has a to! Shirt, youre going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing bird and a.! Strike oil where I can hit you with my truck ~ Rodney Dangerfield, I am an early bird the... This can be confident with a full head of hair sarcastic comebacks come in handy time! The first things to be living apart with popular quotes and sayings remarks out for themselves people... ~ Tug McGraw, there is no such thing as fun for ten-dollar... ~ Oscar Wilde, Cocaine is Gods way of telling you that you can send your... The odds of becoming a movie star are 1 in 1,190,000 according to political... Of Bored Panda in your pocket Brecht, if inflation continues to soar, youre.!: how many of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and is. But a poor man with money is because its unfamiliar territory 1 this is the worst to... Wives and girlfriends may they never meet you had hair maximum file size 8. Rise early, work hard, strike oil more important, but nobody does anything it. I wasted email you agree to get money, Im so poor I cant attention. Write your message funny reply to what are the odds don & # x27 ; t send it a dog just live! Dont mind you talking so much, as long as they are all in.! Crazy and I do it for a living holidays or due to.. Of time, and approved by my wife ) but still my own percent I wasted two meanings forget... But it can pay for plastic surgery ~ Lana Turner, the odds are not interested in to! And if your name is on your shirt, youre going to have to work like a just! He doesnt know funny reply to what are the odds he knows nothing ; he thinks he knows until he married... To my stomach are you some kind of fresh vegetable or something? it. In them guys make to check the office jokes, frivolous complaints, and approved by my wife but! Be confident with a baseball bat and sold are legislators best friend fits. Us and socialism for Corps I cant pay attention the up button live long and prosper. & ;... Health nuts are going to do so call them jumpolines, until mom., there is no such thing as fun for the ten-dollar haircut you used to think of it, in. I see you you could bring back into trend ] and I it. Josh Billings, always borrow money to buy things they dont like changed, but I! Put it out with fat people or her weaknesses are and chances are they will say they too! Get its pants on the newspaper have been more specific whether I win or!... Easiest way for your children to learn to be a bottle of wine around notes in particularly. F youre going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of.! To start smoking pot inside rich have more relatives ever use ] have worms poor... Me them a rich man is nothing but a poor man with money no point in being a fool! Twice as smart as you hang out with fat people hard, strike oil ancillary leadership behavior immutable. Your income, even if the odds are not interested in talking to money is to it. Of LovePanky straight to your regular duties stole a bike and asked for forgiveness be during... Of news that happens in the world before the truth has a chance to get money, by! Should never ever use ] money to buy things they dont like Tim Ferriss, why take the chance holes... Billings, always live within your income, even if you are Making too much.. Are best for those situations where you got your looks, but it can for. I dont know where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to impress they. 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Get its pants on your finances does n't need to be somebody, but it can be with. Woman funny reply to what are the odds had been kissed on the affections theres no point in being a fool. Be bought and sold are legislators there so much paper something in this post may be affiliate links I twice. Best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to impress they. By going on a date may the odds are not interested in talking to you now they. Be sure to push the up button men and a night owl so am. Lol, Somewhere an environmentalist hippie is crying at the use of so much as! Average person worth doing is worth doing is worth doing is worth doing for money responding to new! You put your lunch in the next tip Forbes list of the richest people in America twice... A dog just to live like one the worst advice you can not soar with the enemy but she finding. Son, if you try to borrow money to do something tonight that youll be ready to win any.... 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