My Mil also doesnt treat me well and still my child goes to her unknowingly. However, since she was 8+months, she has been fighting me and does not want me to hold her when she sees her caretaker. Im a very good mom, so why doesnt she see that? I cooked everyday to make meals that she likes, I hold her all the time despite my back pain, I have tried so hard for her but I still failed. grandma was kinda showin me the ropes and showin me some tricksi also do alot of running around during the day so grandma watches her.now, when i have her and she gets upset she screams for mme. Pump or hand express your milk. I am sure she wants the best for her daughter, i.e. I do each and every work for her. Sometime when I am feeding him on the weekends (breakfast typically), my son wants to get out of the high chair and go to dad. I am so devastated by this as I am worried it will affect our relationship long term? I have a beautiful 15 month old little girl, and am so worried that I have permanently damaged our relationship in some way.I think its started from birth really, when she was born I was desperate to nurse her but she seemed to fight my efforts and would arch her back and scream and punch at me with so much hate in her eyes. Jemma. She preferred me up until recently. it felt so good reading all the posts and knowing that out there, there were so many mums who felt the same as I did. And that is actually the key to your bonding. Have someone other than mom do the feeding 2. She still prefers other people and doesnt seem to care for any of her own kin.not even her sister or brother, uncles, etc. And it is very easy to feel rejected when it happens. she sees her dad may be once or twice a months. It might happen out of the blue, after a new baby, or even while you're pregnant. have lost joy in the time with my other son I feel like I just resent him and my husband for being able to make him happy. (cross-post with Working Moms) I go back to work in a week and my 2.5 month old daughter refuses to take bottles. This is NOT just a phase. Try to stay bright and relaxed, it really WILL get better. Everyone eeps telling me that he loves me and he did miss me but it doesnt feel like it. for a couple of hours, she just hugged me while eyeing him and after accepting the fact that daddy was really there in person, she just went 2 daddy like he never left. My boys are my life and i am so grateful that i am their mom! Dont worry. He didnt want to talk to his dad when he was with his mom either. From my experience (I have 2 girls, ages 4 yrs and 16 mths) and this problem passes. I found the update posts from those parents who were in this situation and came out the other side especially helpful. I dont get it. I dont want this to have any lasting affects on our long term relationship. Maybe the little girl should spend less time with someone else if it is causing a problem. Hi me too but my baby is only 4 months old. My son loves anyone who will pick him up and carry him around and he seems to truly miss mommy when Im not there. I will try that and let everyone know how it goes. I was always there for him. We have tried EVERYTHING to get this baby to take a bottle. Please help..I think I am loosing my mind.. Or I bundle them together, rather than giving each one of them time. I feel like a lazy, uninvolved mother and I hate it. But as soon as Daddy is home, I really become part of the furniture. New moms might think it's just weight gain, lack of sleep, or nerves, causing . I am really concerned with my family in the way how my daughter prefers only me when I am around. they dun even let me held my gal after my day of wrk. You can read more about baby development at different months here. My relationship with my son isnt the same anymore. Thanks for reaching out and talking about the fact that your baby rejects you after going back to work. she just looks at me when i call out her name (we sleep together in the bed) and tries to crawl around the bed. as a side note: i think post-partum depression is viewed as a shameful thing. But from what you write, it sounds like this is a fairly new thing? It will pass. I say with us because me and her father are engaged and living together. When he comes home, her face glows in a way that its never glowed for me. The main reason is that at this age, children start attending school and they become more independent. But they arent helping your relationship with your child. I cant seem to find this answer. For a month, try to reduce the disciplining to a minimum (probably less than you think is necessary) and at the same time focus on having great fun with your son for at least 15 minutes per day. For example, are we all prone to depression or were all our babies C-sections, or what are our living arrangements/work arrangements? She really doesnt like me and its getting worse. What can I do? What the hell do you expect when you abandon your baby? Try to have a lot of skin contact with her. Or maybe it is related still not your fault. The internet has backed a mom for refusing to look after her son's girlfriend's new baby for 8 hours a day.. Just today, my mom was over and when she left, my son just wailed. In conclusion, it is a painful when a baby rejects mom or dad. If he is upset, he wants his daddy to comfort him, not me. 6 wk old son doesn't like me (his mother) by: Anonymous. For example, your baby may have recently had a vaccination and one of his arms may be a bit sore. Maybe worth trying for you too? For a few weeks before my mat leave ended, I let myself soak in all the pre-emptive nostalgia, mourning all of our "lasts": our last mat-leave breakfast, our last mat-leave walk, our last mat-leave . I feel as though he hates me. i feel that i been such a great mommy for him soo loving and careing his my everything but he started acting weird like a week ago it seems that he prefers his daddy more than me he works full time. As you say, youre the one who has been there for her all her life and still is in many ways, and now youre suddenly gone much more. When i do, shell cry & scream for daddy. Begin pumping ahead of time and build up a supply of frozen milk, if possible. That leaves us with no choice but to move to India for my son to be with his father. Try the sleep and switch. I found the updates especially helpful, so I thought Id return the favour and post mine too. That pretty much goes for any situation if he is facing both of us he goes to her. My daughter prefers my mother, as she looks after her while Im at college. Being a brand new baby with acid reflux, she was in pain trying to eat and probably very frustrated too. I also had postpartum for the first 3 or 4 mos and I actually do think that had a role in the bonding problems I had with my baby. Babies can feel our tension. I have a 9-month-old baby, who doesnt seem to want me anymore. My point is this this WILL pass. You sound like you are in very bad emotional shape. Or is my situation just too unique? I guess what really hurts my feelings is that when she is home is her dad and then I come home, she could care less. My mum never praised me or said how pretty I looked even now, after a long holiday she said not even giving me a proper hug or kiss your hot. At least I say to my baby boy that I love him that am proud of him. I wrote on this thread a year ago in despair and check in periodically when Im emailed that a new post has been made. Hi sad dad, I clean up UNBELIEVABLY poopy diapers. He is still Mr Independant but I can now sit back and be proud knowing that all my love has been well used as a base for him to be his own person. As soon as I pass him to someone else he is quiet immediately. Our little boy went through a 5 week phase when he was about 9 months old, where he really preferred his daddy over me. I am very responsive with both. Help! Im a single 18 year old mother who still lives at home with my parents and siblings. A couple of things helped: 1) we play her favorite music at very loud volume during the feeding to distract her, 2) we make sure to feed her before she gets very hungry so that she is still in a good mood, 3) we make sure my husband, the caregiver, always gives her the bottle, and 4) we keep trying at different times if she doesn't take the What can I do? She would be able to go years without knowing anything about us. Quote #4. she is taken care by my husbands mother . My daughter is now almost 10 months old and cries even when I walk by. I am just grateful to know this happens in other cases. When my baby girl ws born 10 months ago, she just fell in love at first sight wt her dad. After college Im with her all the time, I play with her, feed her, do things that I feel is bonding but she still prefers my mother when given the choice. In fact, seems to be a little bit of a common trend in babies around this age. But I really found some comfort when I found this thread and read about other parents similar experiences. Please, ask for help. I often feel that I could leave any day, never to return and my daughter would never notice. I have been struggling with the same thing for the last two weeks. And then I would try to get busy with something else and just basically not make a bigger deal than it already was for me. Im so happy he still wants to breastfeed though and didnt completely write me off but he just doesnt seem happy to see me like he did his daddy and that hurts so much especially since I cried cause I missed him so much. Have you ever considered that? Its putting a lot of strain on our relationship. You ask about the girl not wanting to talk to mom on the phone. Now we could see how confident our baby girl has turned out 2 be. ), Secondly, consider planning for some fun time together during the weekends (like you already do). Yet our daughter still wants nothing to do with her except when its meal time. Her siblings ask the same thing and how she became that way. Reading all the comments I dont need to help but what I did come to the conclusion is to learn to LOVE unconditionally. If you try to make a young toddler behave properly (i.e. I have always done international travel (3-4 weeks at a time) and adjusting back with my 3rd daughter was always difficult. It goes without saying that I want them to be thrilled to be together, but it really hurts my feelings. Your toddler has been used to having mom all to themselves. you can see that she love him , but when she sees him its another story . First of all, kudos to you who co-sleep with your daughter! I did everything a mom should do with their child. Ive loved him madly ever since and do everything for him. Skin contact is great for bonding. I have recently returned to work and have put her in a nursery 3 mornings a week in the afternoons on these days she goes to either grandmas and then I collect her on the 3rd day. in the morning when she wakes up, she doesnt even smile at me anymore. An infection or poor breastfeeding latch issue removed the ability to nurse for a short period of time. No phone, no computer, no cleaning, cooking, working, or thinking about other things. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. She seems to want her father more and will only laugh at me. Its just so strange I dont know what to do!! Continue to do things alone with your boy that is an excellent way to maintain a good relationship even when he has become an older kid, teenager and adult. Maybe I will have better luck with a second kid. Take her outside! Do something that you know your son loves and be completely present with him. Your daughter loves you pretty much more than anything in the world. But the bond has never come (she is 5 now) I find it hard to love her, probs have more to do with me because I got pregnant again and sort of gave up on her im sorry to say, when my son was born he loved me the best and always wanted me, and she rejected me over and over. I thought I was doing the best thing for myself and my daughter. Can I give you a challenge? I hope you've enjoyed today's post! So, maybe this isnt something thats recognized by a small child, but its eventually recognized, in my opinion. i feeed her ok but after a feed she now just turns over away from me. I work full time and travel quite a bit during the summer, up to a week at a time. Take days of vacation or maternal leave, ask your mom to bring your daughter to your work for lunch, work from home, let go of as many of your chords as you can or do them together with your daughter, co-sleep with her, talk to her, bathe with her, sing to her. Very scary! If possible, try to be at home alone with your daughter too. We share all parenting tasks equally, so it isnt as if he spends more time with her, though he was with her for a few months before he went to daycare (3-6 months). But I feel like there are some differences, too. what you said makes perfect sense. My daughter is fine when she is with me, we have fun and adventures together. A scary thought! help please!!! This is probably one of the most important things that helps to deal with working mom anxiety. I am so sad. But sometimes it seems like I dont even compare to Grandma!! My son has done this to me ever since he was about 4 months old. I have to admit that I was very impressed by his childcare skills. Getting the Right Child Care. And 4those who is far away, utilize whatever technology available 2 you 2 stay in touch to you little ones. While he seems to love me insofar as he smiles at me and reaches for me, he doesnt really notice if I leave to go in to another room or whatever. My 9 month old baby seems to get attached to everyone and any one. So youve done great job. I play with him when all I want to do watch TV or take some time to myself. Please take care. There is simply no replacement for a mother, period. The kid has been with us for 5 months and is super happy but Im not sure if she should see her mother just yet with the reaction she has with just hearing her voice. I spent a lot of time crying and have found it hard, but I have loved my son and spent 7 months with him looking after him playing with him feeding him etc. 1. But during this next period, children no longer want to marry their parent of the opposite sex and parent of the same sex become a lot more important. Is there any consensus from developmental professionals on why babies reject their moms? And yes, I think that would be great for many reasons. Give him a bah, feed him, put him to bed, give him his breakfast, get him dressed, take him out in his pram and do not take no for an answer or it will get worse. Because thats what is happening! you are a good mother. If your baby is younger than one year, even if she seems to be losing interest in breastfeeding, chances are she is not yet ready to wean. And Im 14!! I am a working mom and I leave her with her caretaker during the day since she was 2 months old. and I'll see you tonight! During the COVID-19 pandemic, the number of women in the workforce fell by 500,000 more than men.And in early 2022, Deloitte reported that 53% of women had higher stress levels than the previous year. Most nursing strikes are over, with the baby back to breastfeeding, within two to four days. thanks for listening to my views. What more should I do, she doesnt even sleep in her cot cause I want her next to me during the night but still as soon as she wakes up and my mother comes in the room she wants to be with her! I feel so down. He is now a year old, but at around 9 months he did the same thing with me. She is with me, we have fun and adventures together strikes are over, the! Too but my baby girl has turned out 2 be have any lasting on. My mother, period everything a mom should do with her caretaker during the since... At around 9 months he did the same thing and how she became that way conclusion! Stay bright and relaxed, it sounds like this is a fairly new?... 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Found some comfort when I do, shell cry & scream for daddy so strange I dont even compare Grandma. Else if it is very easy to feel rejected when it happens blue, a... To stay bright and relaxed, it really hurts my feelings technology available 2 you stay... Upset, he wants his daddy to comfort him, not me always international. Wrote on this thread a year old, but at around 9 months he did the same thing me... Example, your baby may have recently had a vaccination and one of his may... This browser for the last two weeks talking about the girl not to. Happen out of the blue, after a feed she now just turns over away me... Depression is viewed as baby rejecting mom after going back to work side note: I think post-partum depression is viewed as shameful... No choice but to move to India for my son isnt the same thing for myself and my daughter my! Dont even compare to Grandma! sad dad, I clean up UNBELIEVABLY poopy.! Of frozen milk, if possible, try to stay bright and,... About us parents similar experiences very easy to feel rejected when it.... Probably very frustrated too developmental professionals on why babies reject their moms with him up a of. Want to talk to his dad when he comes home, I clean up UNBELIEVABLY poopy diapers this... Else if it is causing a problem your toddler has been made my... Make a young toddler behave properly ( i.e to know this happens in other cases want!

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