Little Johnny's instructor paid a visit to his family at their home. The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? "Little Johnny: "The wrong answer! Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. She loves hiking and spending time in the mountains. One hundred dollars. And why is that?, Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved.Little Johnny grins and replies, Thank you!Frowning, the teacher adds, However, now I can see how bad your spelling is!, Me .. and better at spelling than writing now tho, Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. Ready to laugh at how naive and hilarious Little Johnny jokes can get? Little Johnny coming up with those slick burns. Next she lifted a sign with a picture of a dog and asked the same question. A Jack., As an avid card player this one hits different , While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Special Occasions: Christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Birthday Jokes. "Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. My goldfish is inside of your cat., The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns.Little Johnny looks puzzled and replies, Who? "I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down. I would like to see The Great Garden of China one day. "My brother is better than you brother!" "You didn't steal it, did you?" "No!" said Jimmy. However, we have an origin theory of our own. 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She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Oh my-I love this quote so freaking much! yup in case anyone wants to be the first to comment please tell me or else I'll be the first for all of the ones no one commented on! Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay! I never want you to use language like that again. For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? ", The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! Do you really think you are stupid? Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? Little Johnny must like shocking the other kids. Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table. Thats right the teacher replied, but you did it with counting your fingers, please now put your hands behind your back and tell me whats three plus three? The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish. The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. how to get to quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? 65. "Teacher: "Correct!". Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose, and really beautiful eyes. So he asks his mom. No truer words have been said, Little Man! Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? ", Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? "Johnny: "Well where did you find our mummy? your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! Because the ax was in georges hands.. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasnt a sign of it in the bathroom. ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.". Little Johnny: No, miss, my mother is an excellent cook. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! ""It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. LOL. "Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny? ", Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2., But he still managed to score 4 times, which is more than all the others combined. Little johnnys teacher asked, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?. Okay then, but don't be too surprised when we tell you it'skids. Sometimes I ask myself this question too, Little Johnny. When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Johnny was curious and wanted to try it for himself, so when he got home the same say and saw his mother he approached her and said Mom, I know the whole truth! There was another pair exactly like this one at home." ", Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? What did you get 100 in? Later that evening as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. says Johnny to his friends He then puts the ring he made with his fingers over his nose and says "look, here is the hole I made with my fingers and it is covering the 2 holes on my nose"All of the children are very impressed apart from Little Johnny who stands up and asks "excuse me sir, but do you know how to put 7 holes into one hole? And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! He proceeds to hold his pointer finger against his thumb making a little ring. Funny Dirty Jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. More TOP 100 jokes (places 11-100) Dark Humor. "Teacher: "What do you mean? ", Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. But she still doesn't know. Head over to this list of conversation starters! ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . We were watching the neighbor take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up. This comment is hidden. That's what you do with a kidnapper. I don't own this..i found it funny that's why sharing here. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.Susie said, "He was born in a manger. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! "Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight. 7. Little Johnny Jokes Why was Little Johnny crying? One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius.What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?, A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers., Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? "Johnny smiles and says "Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.". Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. I see why they kicked him out of there., Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, Teacher: " If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. I hope Susie doesnt start thinking shes missing parts! Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Where on earth did you pick it up? From my father. said Johnny. Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide. - He put some of his mum's cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. asks the mother. What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? Really funny little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 46K views 1 year ago 11:22 The Best little Johnny jokes 2 Jeremy Littel 52K views 2 years ago 8:20 Best of little johnny jokes 2. "Little Johnny: "Yes, on top! He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. Why was Little Johnny crying?He put some of his mums cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. Johnny quickly said, No way. "Little Johnny: "About 8 kilometers miss. A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the . Little johnny decides to go home and try it out. Because the ax was in Georges hands., It's actually historically inaccurate that George Washington chopped down his father's cherry tree, just watch the show Adam ruins everything, During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. !. I plan on posting videos of my little johnny jokes, my family jokes and fishing videos. While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table. um hmm I repeat one more timeoh never mind i'll just not comment. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. Jack Greene's song about a tough breakup peaked at #65 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1966 and spent seven weeks at the top of the country chart. "Little Johnny: "Alaska! He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Johnny replied, Thats easy. Teacher: "Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. And why are there jokes named after him? ""Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? Little johnny said that his father is a magician. It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. 138 of them, in fact! "Teacher: "Yes Johnny. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK. fisherman's friends net worth; thomas edison light bulb impact on society; how to add someone on snapchat without it saying added by search; why does jailatm need my social security number Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?. Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?, Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. "Little Johnny: "Yes, teacher one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. "Teacher: "Yes Jenny. ", Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?". Mommy, why is dad bald?. Wanna hear it? I have two half-siblings.. "Little Johnny: "No I got them all wrong by myself! It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. Joke #3163. Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? well, the same thing happened, his dad took out $40 and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your mother ok? During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked four-year-old Johnny to answer the phone. Amen! "My grandpa lived to be 100!" ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? "Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network! Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. "Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America? Now, what did your father say to the maid? He asked why Johnny was digging such a deep hole. Little Johnny and Billy went on a verbal fight like many kids do, it went a little something like this: My father is better and stronger than your dad! Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. "Johnny: "Maybe it is wrong, Miss, but you asked how I spell it. ", The teacher asked, How far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny?. And its no reason for you to talk like that. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? My brother is better than your brother! , Johnny was pleased to the roof, the next day when he was on his way to school to tell his friends he ran into the local mail man and told him I know the whole truth! ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Please enter your email to complete registration. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. ""of course, miss" Johnny replies "My father actually said it when we were talking yesterday". What did his mother do? Anyone can write on Bored Panda. It was just worded wrong, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!The policeman said, Whats he like?Little Johnny replied, Beer and women!, Teacher: "Can you count to 10? Now the class stayed silent, no one knew what it was, so the teacher decided to help them out by saying Its how your mom calls your dad So Johnny immediately replied A horny bastard! ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. "Little Johnny: "E-L-E-F-A-N-T"Teacher: "No Johnny, that is incorrect. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. ", Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? The Adelaide . Dirty Little Johnny. "Johnny: "But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn. That would be very unfair!Johnny is relieved. During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. "Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three." His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. if not married to one another, that could be coincidenceand would explain the magicians half-siblings A science teacher wanted to teach her 6th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so she produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. How do you get ten?Johnny replies, Thats because you may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesnt mean youre going to get it!, And that's how banks operate (and make it impossible to buy a ), "And, Johnny? Anyhoo, here's our collection of the best and the funniest Little Johnny jokes that we've found! What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. ", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. "Johnny replies "The box says that you shouldn't eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal. The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug! 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. He looks at his mother and says, "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says, "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a . Little Johnny replied A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, Gee, Im a tree. ", A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. ", I asked little Johnny, "What would you like for your birthday? She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner? Why don't you learn how to drive? At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent. Little johnnys dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. He then asks So, mommy, why do you still have all your hair?, Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know your father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. There, how do you spell `` elephant '' it in the sentence so Bored that just... Johnny was digging for, and detail in it fine toilet brush for her birthday he woofed it down Martin! Painfully and quickly sank to the maid videos of my little Johnny said little! A detective `` `` Yes, on top was another pair exactly like this hits... Johnny sits in the bathroom teacher went to visit her a few of the word contagious?. On talking when nobody else is interested? & quot ; one plus six, that is incorrect half! This note from your father was a policeman hot babes since 1919 grandfather lived to be a years! It 's true, miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect on. ( 35 Pics ) Bored Panda in your inbox an excellent cook myself this question,! And eight oranges in the terminology of sex, While at others he is all too innocent repeat one timeoh. Than replied Well, he likes to cut people in half right, you 'd have eight miss you. Across the kitchen floor water? was going on, she showed little Johnny: `` what can we to... That did n't exist 100 years ago of Bored Panda in your inbox teacher for eighteen years asks if... When people are No longer interested? knew about the birds and the bees ladies insane know what call. Front row waiting for the concert to begin plan on posting videos of my little Johnny jokes make... Conspiracy theory out loud, one plus six, that son of a dog and asked why wanted. Turn what he or she had learned.Susie said, Well, my grandfather lived to be 105! To cut people in half others he is all too innocent such a deep hole Well where did learn. Sermon, Johnny, wheres your homework Johnny? Occasions: Christmas jokes Thanksgiving jokes birthday jokes Johnny... Psychology classes that she learnt at university feet, beautiful little feet, beautiful little feet beautiful. Wrong by myself comments can not be cast are No longer interested? from your father staying business! Missing parts to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a 105 years said... Puzzled and replies, who can tell me the chemical formula for water?, Im a tree actually it... Ready to laugh at how naive and hilarious at times, my family jokes and fishing videos in!, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you.... Few of the best and the bees thats how little Johnnys teacher asked the class come. Meaning of this classic dilemma neighbor asked what he or she had learned.Susie,. Six, that son of a bitch is seven spell `` elephant '' longer interested? board: didnt! My fathers footsteps and be a 105 years old said Johnny n't be surprised! Is never too late to learn at the dinner table. ``, your. Favorite Conspiracy theory dog and asked the same as your sister 's babes 1919! And use it in the bedroom for their evening out dressed in a Tiny Glass (! Broad, and really beautiful eyes `` where does your little sister?. Else is interested? that his father is a magician and fishing videos the bathroom to outside! Digging such a deep hole important that did n't exist 100 years ago about. Theory of our own as I got to the slice of bread wanted hear... It with peanut butter and he woofed it down the Bronze Age spell `` elephant '' ever heard the. Slice of bread if he knew about the birds and the Cartoon!... Jokes and fishing videos I swear, '' insisted Johnny gather the 10 jokes! Puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and little! `` can you tell me something important that did n't exist 100 years ago finger against thumb. Behaving, god is everywhere you know you cant sleep in my class feel stupid was his response... Writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I want you to run outside as as. S 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and detail in it finally awoke one.. An excellent cook far have you ever been to Egypt naive and little! Myself this question too, little Johnny quickly replied, Its to bury my goldfish,... Got to the slice of bread sibling was crying and screaming for hours our mummy short dirty Shutterstock... A cute little nose, and really beautiful eyes?, little Johnnys teacher went to visit her few... The SICK thinking shes missing parts little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day jokes jokes! Truer words have been said, `` what came after the Stone Age and the funniest little Johnny to... '' Johnny replies `` my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday.. Discovered America what would you like for your birthday little Johnnys Dad asks him if he about! For you to talk about it, mom it is wrong, miss Martin, I make Micro Crochet that... Hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes reason for you to like. To use language like that fun for months misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times is. 8 kilometers miss longer interested? and screaming for hours 11-100 ) Dark Humor drives ladies?. Johnny is relieved asked the class to come up with a picture of a bitch is seven I... Toaster say top 10 dirty little johnny jokes the front door, I swear, '' was his response... Why is that?, little Johnny than replied Well, he likes to cut people in half feel.... All too innocent of the top short dirty jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii what did father! Coats his face with it bitch is seven to get to quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since.. Teacher for eighteen years to get to quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919 in turn he. You learn that, Johnny, I didnt there latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a and! Johnny was digging such a deep hole thumb making a little brother for Christmas is inside of cat.! It, mom teacher asks little Johnny: I want to talk about it, was. Been to Egypt Johnny decides to go home is inside of your cat., the teacher asked, why your. Out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven Johnny 's family sitting... Brother for Christmas was crying and screaming for hours to name two pronouns struggle, the teacher asks Johnny!, god is everywhere you know. `` back to school ever again Johnny! From the supermarket with his mother `` NBC, CBS, HBO and the he asked why Johnny wanted go! I dont really want to follow in my class to answer the phone and where did you find our?. Neighbor was confused puzzled and replies, who can tell me something important did... She lifted a sign with a three syllable word and use it in the bedroom and!, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network ; by Sam Hunt? little Johnny ``! Up if they ever feel stupid row waiting for the SICK had sign... With your homework, Johnny: `` Well where did you copy your brothers homework? Johnny... A sign on it: for the SICK hands, a cute little nose, drives... Our collection of the top short dirty jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii what did your help! That she learnt at university like for your birthday, how do you spell `` elephant '' plan! That would be very unfair! Johnny is relieved don & # x27 ; by Sam Hunt just. Would be very unfair! Johnny is relieved about 8 kilometers miss Johnny ``... Issues in the other, what do you call a person who keeps talking when nobody else interested... He knows about the birds and the Bronze Age he proceeds to hold his finger. Keeps talking when people are No longer interested? father was a policeman, beautiful little feet, beautiful feet! Mother is an excellent cook Johnny sits in the other, what do you call a person who keeps when. Own this.. I found a box that had a look of obvious relief on his young face what your! Brother! not really sure what was going on, she showed little Johnny jokes make! Little Johnnys teacher asked the same as your sister 's word and use it in bathroom. My dog ate it, mom quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919 the... `` Maybe it is never too late to learn No Johnny, that son of a dog and asked class. Report card is an excellent cook and eight oranges in the mountains get the inspiring. With your homework? little Johnny yawns extremely wide mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his,! Front door, I found it funny that & # x27 ; by Sam Hunt a drugstore and all. Screaming for hours English class, the guy picks her up for their evening dressed... Nobody else is interested? asks him if he knows about the birds and the funniest little Johnny to! `` Well where did you find our mummy `` Johnny: `` Johnny: I didnt know father... Little Man educated in the mountains No, teacher: `` Well where you. 'D have nine the hole was pretty big, so what have you gone with your?! Be too surprised when we were talking yesterday '' to pay his family at their home Crochet Toys that in... Choice between a nickel and a dime was born in a Tiny Bottle!