Who have said they want to MARRY you? This is your time to make the right decision. but at the end of the day I know I will never get the answers, and view it all as a learning experience to make my next relationship better! Hopefully you and I will come out of this not too damaged. he found my profile on professional network and added me. But whether or not its worth it, only time will tell. Anyway first guy told me he loved me, then jetted. When the guy who disappears suddenly makes a reappearance by texting you, youre now left with another puzzling question in your head: What should I do?! Im gonna feel better in no time, I hope. I think after six months it was high time you asked where the relationship was headed, and it should have a title by then. OMG I have almost the same story. With online dating, I advocate meeting someone pretty soon somewhere in public after the initial contact. He couldnt even be bothered to reach out after 3.5 months of dating? But the key here, is to remain strong and not contact him. When he wants to hear me, he does the . So Im in this situation right nowwe met went out a few times and like on the 4th or 5th date he was telling me he loved me. But what to text him when he disappears? And what really bothers me the most is when I did call him on it, to reply back and say no, I shouldnt assume that were done, and hed answer soon thats really immature and selfish. Yes, my loss. I shrugged my shoulders and danced the rest of night :). Then, hed go a week. He was giving me all the strong signals before last Thursday. We chatted for a month or two and then I went to his house and we had sex. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!! I met a man online. Im not going to judge. So I know he is alright. It would be nice to have an explanation, but I doubt Ill get one. At the train station he kissed me goodbye on the lips, said see you later and that was it. He lives on the other side of the world. I was not feeling well over that weekend. I am in the middle of getting ready for my brothers wedding this weekend and there has been a lot of stress that i was chatting to him about. You just made his sound so clam. NEEDLSS TO SAY Saturday morning came and with no response, I noticed he had REMOVED me from social media and made himself private. However, I know Every girl remembers her first but dont feel bad.. Eventually he started becoming more distant during our 3rd month of talking and after one month of not seeing him (the last time being my prom night) I went over his house to hang out. We swapped pictures and he seemed really happy with what he saw.. 1) Part of them misses you. Down and I seem like someone hed want to be with and all that jazz about how I intrigue him and how much he likes me and how will never hurt me and will be honest with me. Its so easy to get wrapped up in a guy and feel that he is the only one out there for you, when that is so far from the truth! Funny thing though, he knew I am older and was not pressuring for commitment. Of course, and I am sure I will. That can play a bit with your morals, self-esteem, and self-perception. I had asked if he wanted me to move out. Well this happened to me on March 5th Me and my boyfriend was dating for five month cause March 4th was our 5th month anniversary, long story short, he was supposed to take me out for dinner but never did because he came up with an excuse saying he has some running around to do,I didnt make a big fuss bout it so I let it go,we planned to go on another day and that day came by and I havent heard from him, and it wasnt like him at all. With for a long time but turns out she was cheating on him and even before that he was with her on and off and then completely let go. how can I deal with that?). last july was our last meeting before I went for holiday, once I sent message during my holiday, he was so happy about that. Some guys catch on that you want something more serious, so they disappear. Social exchange and equity play a significant role in determining the progress of a relationship. Im the person who ended all of my relationships and my boyfriends were caring and thoughtful men but when we out grew each other, I ended them. I needed a closure and I have it. Its been 3 months, 24/7. I was being friendly. Hi Ryan, Now in her defense 90% of the ladies i meet bore me to tears, but im a creative artist/author/geek so the regular people just dont cut the mustard (same w my guy friends). If he dips for a week then yeah, Id say hes not interested. We kept talking and eventually we exchanged numbers. So why am I here? He came up put his hand on my back and said hey stranger. I assumed it was just the alcohol. I have not spoken to him for 6 days so yesterday, I reached out to him but he didnt answer. Although, Im the same person but I dont know. If this wasnt all that serious, I wouldnt care as much as I do and I wouldnt have invited him into my house and meet my daughter. He would make it seem like life was stressing him out. He could have just stay quiet after first date that would make his point more effective, no? I opened up to him deeply. Ask him directly how he feels about the two of you, Other things you can do when he disappears (if you decide that you dont want to text him). I realize it was getting to the point where decisions were going to have to be talked about, but I wasnt pushing for that. Everything seemed great. Hes in his mid 40s and Im in my 50s. Been dating a guy for 6 months. Sure enough the next morning I got a text that said what his boss said and that his focus wasnt on work but then he went on to say that I was amazing and I didnt do anything wrong and our time together has been great but too time consuming. After a few months of dating I introduced him to my family and he came to my cousin so wedding. Its all about me, me, me, and oh by the wayme again. About 4 years ago, I met this guy online via a friend we had in common. After a week I checked in him and he hasnt said nothing. I dont know what to think, unless going back to his family has made him realise there is no future for us [I am of a different culture and religion] and I guess eventually he wants to move back there. I know I loved him truly with all my heart, did he love me, as he said he did, and showed me during our 15 months together? We texted every single day almost all day for a month straight. Also, this really takes a toll on the one being ghosted physically. Hard thing is i care about him a great deal, But my emotions with this situation are all over the place. And the girl got so crazy over this, and she came to his house and made a fuss about it. Not like me to see someone that isnt fully divorced. I still do miss him though Thankyou for your tips..wink, Its. He admitted that he was having a bad day and we all went home. I really regret that I forgave him the first time he did it. So fine I left him alone, he put me on ignore. I took the opportunity to talk to him again when he sent me something on one of the social media and told him that he was clearly ignoring me and hasnt said anything, I knew he opened it so I got upset and told him that I would be completely backing away now and that he could delete me off every social media. maybe one day we will hear from these guys again and by then I hope we have found and are with the good guys we so deserve! Reply to your ex if it won't negatively affect your mood. After the physical pain (probably from all those excess adrenalin in my body), I have to make a decision on how to turn things around and love myself back. I cant be there for them at this time, and I can;t even tell them because I cant string 4 5 words together that would explain what I am going through. The way you you describe him vanishing and your reaction sounds like the way you communicate with someone you barely know. I wouldnt say Im at all clingy or overly emotional. That hes far more concerned about himself and not you. I feel that this showed him that I know my worth, that Im not going to play second fiddle, and that if he ever decides to step up to the plate and actually date me for real, I wont tolerate that sort of behavior. Life isnt about karma. Will he contact me? Then suddenly he went cold. I was speechless to hear that. Anyway, a definite connection, total talk of things we would do in the futurethe last time he contacted me was the 17th. I tried to message a few times after to check in but even when he did reply he was so obviously ghosting me, i dont get it! Also hes driving his daughter to move to Toronto with her things. I feel like I will never get over it. What is your strategy? I do think that he didnt confront me cause he was playing the game, that he would keep me in his back pocket, while he is figuring things out. I didnt even need his reply (I know him, so I expected that he wouldnt reply), but at least I have what I wanted a closure. Do not contact him anymore. Im pretty confident he will be back and then you can tell him youre not into games.see ya. This guy has HUGE insecurities id wager, and if you had never actually met its probably something as simple as fear that you wouldnt like him, so he pulls the plug himself and retains control. Thank you for sharing, Charnel. Incidentally, I was in another long term on and off relationship with someone else in the past and I would hate to go back there, therefore avoid it like a plague. I dumped his ass that day..but the story goes on. I cant believe I let someone control me like that and then ghost on me. He still texts me but he texts like hes not interested in me anymore, and I dont want to keep texting him because I dont want to seem desperatebut I really think hes gonna start texting me normal again but Im really upset about the way hes been acting and treating me should I just leave him alone??? I dont think hes that type of guy and I know that would be a terrible lie to tell someone but I cant help but wonder. He was awesome. Thats not going to happen if youre texting him and being in constant contact with him. On the cheek and saying I had a good night says enough. I guess he texted me on impulse and then regretted it and is not man enough to face it hmm. Anything . No response either. He said this would be the evening we would either discuss whether it was a make or break . 11. You can look at this situation in two way. That contact was what made me smile everyday, gave me something to look forward to. He might do the slow fade out, meaning he stops initiating contact and when you reach out to him he takes hours or days to reply. I still loved him though. It takes 2 seconds to respond someone and he didnt do that for you. Its not just, I met the greatest person and Im so sad they werent into me. Let emotion take a back seat, enjoy your life, take into consideration that you are still a catch, that you too have power (not just the person who decided to leave) and you should weigh up LOGISTICALLY whether they were actually, indeed, right for you. fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.. Let the ball be in his court. I knew hed eventually cut me offbut talking for just one day after reaching there hurts so much. It got to be that I was initiating all the text. Im I guess I got him when I pretend that I dont like him. I really think he owes me, I need to know where I stand. Sometimes women delude themselves about a situation because it is what they want. I took a long hard look at him and saw him for what he really was and realized I wanted to let him go, that his attitude toward me was undesirable, and that I really couldnt even like him anymore. He was the wooer I guess you could say. Its very painful to not know why. Im so confused and cannot understand what happened. Cmon. Fast forward to around 6 months later, I felt that the relationship was not moving forward so of course I naturally asked him what are things that would help him get to the next level (not necessarily putting a title on it but at least stepping up our communication). But to keep viewing my profile thats fd up. The older they are the more apathetic they are. This is the road Ive usually taken with him but I dont want to rush things and feel I should continue talking to him a bit longer before trying to see if hes interested in starting something again. Did you get to see the last episode of GOT? He told me when he came to see me that he ton his kids hes visiting a friend.Im so heartbroken. He made me feel so special and told Different than his. Someone with a good heart but ability to understand and tolerate differences and has some street knowledge. I had high hopes, i thought guys like these acts. I even asked him several times and told him that tif there was someone else that he was into. I still feel insulted and angry, because I really believe he owed me. he went all out, swept me of my feet and made me the happiest girl in the world. We hit it off, both were somewhat nervous. Anyways, its time to move on. When you decide to text someone who has disappeared, keep your texts neutral, instead of accusing or angry. He told me to stop. He went very quiet and eventually said , yes its easy to find your way around here. Are you willing to give him one more chance or has he wasted all of them? I try not to take it personally but did I reject him in some way? Absolutely call the person on it. Youre delusional. Karina, I think I am the same type as you who like to test the others except lm a girl not a guy. Both of us didnt want a relationship, so there were no feelings. Take my latest ghosting She was unemployed, had no capital, was in debt, no direction, no ambition, too emotional, divorced, 34 years old (Im 27), lived with mommy, no education, 5 tattoos, 2 abortions, and was clearly on the path towards obesity (hard to tell from her fraudulent and misleading online pics). I opened up my heart to him.even though I was cautious and he kept pushing as he could feel that I wasnt opening up enough . .. I still have him on social media but hes hardly ever connected so I know theres no point sending him messages cause he wont read them until the next day or so.. and when we do text guys, we want an immediate answer.. I reject him in some way guess he texted me on ignore apathetic they the. 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