am i too sensitive or is my husband mean

I work part-time and couldnt manage it without their help. Susanne Lewis of age 72 submitted this photo on her journey withInstantly AgelessCollagen Boost Anti-Aging Serumafter using it for7weeks. Sensitivity is a gift, not a weakness, and it means that you are creative, A few good books and articles on childhood trauma and narcissists plus a guided meditation on healing the inner child have given me more progress than 20 years in therapy. Sounds like he didn't initially plan to go to dinner with his buddy but when the opportunity presented, he decided to go with the flow.no big deal if he hadn't already told you he would be home for dinner and/or if he had told you sooner that plans had changed. More than a month has gone by, and I still havent received their share of the money from my granddaughter or the boyfriend. Men often bury their feelings in an attempt to conform to social pressure. All Access Digital offer for just 99 cents! Get Morning Report and other email newsletters. Overall, being too sensitive can really have a negative impact on the relationship because it often hides several past issues with the person who is overly sensitive. For the highly sensitive man, however, becoming aware of and expressing those feelings on a regular basis is crucial for maintaining a positive sense of self, as well as being a powerful tool for lowering stress levels. Over a year ago, I made the decision to stop communication with my oldest brother after he told me that he didnt like or respect me. I asked a friend if she would pray for an upcoming test. Additional: You also often feel youre to be blamed when something bad happens. You specifically asked him about dinner, at least twice. Are you the only one crying during a fight? You proceeded to to cry and make a scene over something that wasnt a big deal. Knowing that his friend loves to eat out, I would have assumed that there might be a last-minute invitation. It's normal to fart up to 25 times per day. I would probably be irritated also only because you had asked specifically if he'd be home or going out and he said home and then gave you a time for it. The update is: I went to get a blood test when my 2nd missed period would have been due. With contagious hope and a non-partisan process, the I have been called 'sensitive' but its because I have empathy for a lot of people who are hurt by an ever increasing selfish society. Most of the time, you find yourself getting stressed out, irritable, and angry over little things. For me personally, I know how long these things can take. When you read, write, or drink your tea, immerse yourself into it. But if he's home 75% of the time then let him eat with his friend! Learn from it, and do not under any circumstances make him a dinner every time he's out. Next time he tries this, cut to the chase and tell him he's on his own for supper - you'll have some plans of your owns - or he can cook for himself when he gets home. Since high sensitivity means that we are absorbing large amounts of information from our environment on a daily basis, one of the most challenging aspects of this condition is coping with the feeling of being overwhelmed. Was he rude? We all need some time with our friends, so I know I'd want to go to dinner with my friend. So what. It sounds to me like you were setting your husband up for failure. Woman to woman you are being overly sensitive. He can eat leftovers the next day. Why Are So Many Young Men Single And Sexless? Maybe next time we can make it even better by". This is about clear and honest communication. I didn't prepare him anything else to eat. WebFrom his childhood on a rural Nebraskan farm to the negotiating tables in our nations capitol, Daniel Dawes has combined his lifelong passion for health equity, political acumen and confidence in a collaborative process to create real and powerful changes in the American healthcare system. There is a lack of information. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. He can have dinner with you anytime. Would dismantling Interstate 980 repair damage to Black neighborhoods? He placated you and kept giving you different answers, which was unfair. Meaning, I KNOW how it usually goes when my Husband goes to a friend's to help fix something. Ed Rode/AP/Shutterstock. Listening to voices in your head saying negative things about you makes you feel insecure and invaluable. The plates had been served and set upon the table. His friend offered to treat him to dinner that night, not some time in the future. Consequently, when someone does ask how he is feeling, he responds that he is fine, that theres nothing wrong. Myself and one brother havent inherited the same characteristics but the other two brothers are have been vindictive and malicious and only about 2yrs ago my psychologist at the time suggested they seemed to fit the profile sespecially one in particular. Maybe it's because I come from a time when we didn't have cell phones and didn't know every single move a person made or every thought they ever had. I don't think we know the whole story and as you know, there are sides to the story, your side, his side and the truth. I think it's 50-50. Related Articles We both know his friend loves to go out to eat so I asked if he will be coming home for dinner or is he going out to eat with his friend. It sounds like you want him all to yourself. I agree, your husband should have told you his plans changed and he was inconsiderate but I have to wonder if he was perhaps afraid to tell you he might not be home for dinner. There were entire books written on the subject of the overly sensitive child. Thank you for the above article, I found it very helpful! Dear Abby: Why do they imply my husband is a freak? Often the narcissist will privately targetthe scapegoat with an invalidating look, comment, or tone and then express concerned bewildermentin front of others when that person becomes upset. Realize that not everyones behavior and thoughts are a reaction to you. Narcissists and their enablers love to tell other people they need to toughen up. Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) experience so much stress, thanks to environmental overload, that facing their feelings is fundamental to their health. Best of luck to everyone whove been affected. Quiz: Am I a Dominant or Submissive Personality? That would annoy me a bit yet he did text as soon as his friend offered. Maybe the idea of him going to eat with his friend didn't come up until after he said he would be home for dinner. Plus just a little guy time to hang out. My husband thinks it is perfectly fine to tell family, friends and strangers about my medical conditions, tests and surgeries. But having dinner with his friend wouldn't bother me. By becoming aware of your feelings and learning to express them, you not only draw loving people towards you, you can also teach others how to cope, simply by being an example of that magical combination of sensitivity and strength. There is only one answer to that, yes dear I will be home, and then they don't come home. Long story.So after finding him out with so many lies and disruptive and damaging assaults, I finally had the courage to admit to myself that its enough for me! And since too much of a good thing isnt great, you can work on keeping your sensitivity in check. Can we revisit that conversation, please?. Other people here who gloss over this are ignoring the fact that he told you over and over that he was coming home to dinner. Do You Ask or Tell Your Husband About Going Out. Finding and being with people who empathize and understand with you can bring wonders to your well-being. A little bit of both, I think. He doesn't come home when he said he was, put it in the refrigerator. It is up to him as to when he does eat if after the meal is prepared. I disagree! Perhaps you could have told your hubby this "Hey, since you guys will probably go out to eat I'm going to go do something for myself". Not entirely his fault, but I never ever expect him home when he says. Sometimes they also overanalyze every action, and those small fights and disagreements tend to overwhelm them. You both just have to learn how to communicate with each other. How to Protect Your Child from Your Narcissist Spouse, Understanding Narcissistic Rage and Why It Is Not Your Fault, The Dos and Donts of CoParenting with a Narcissist, The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Freee, Listen to Julies groundbreaking audio course "Understanding Narcissism., The Narcissists Antagonistic Attachment: Subjugation, Competition, and Parasitism, Dear Therapist: You Missed My Husbands Narcissism and It Devastated My Family, 12 Unspoken Rules of Engagement in the Narcissistic Family, Your Narcissistic Mother Hates Your Body, and Heres Why, Identifying the Covert Narcissist in Your Life: A Checklist, Maddening and Bizarre Things Narcissists Do Explained, Life in the Fun House: Narcissistic Mirroring and Projection, Big Sissies: How and Why Narcissists Get Worse with Age, Narcissism 101: A Glossary of Terms for Understanding the Madness, Raised by a Narcissist? Totally normal and not disrespectful at all. Really?) It was spontaneous. My husband thinks its no big deal to tell people about whats going on with me medically. Mastitis is an infection in a clogged duct. WebYes, this is a very passive aggressive way of stopping you in your tracks, but sometimes men do not have the communication skills or the emotional skill to tell you what is really For women, sensitivity and rationality are often wedged against each other as mutually exclusive. Can Good Relationship Experiences Change Attachment Styles? If my husband comes home late from work he knows how to forage in the kitchen for a meal. Helena Bala is a writer, former lawyer and the genius behind Craigslist Confessional. I went so far as to go to two appointments without telling him. Not doing so seems disrespectful to me. You said his friend "treated him to dinner." Yes. Grab Wedding Month Deals on Marriage Courses! I cook anyway, for me and my kids regardless if he is home or not, in time, for dinner. I do not think you should tattle to your daughter about this. Julie provides specialized narcissistic abuse recovery coachingto clients around the world. If that's true then you are disrespectful of him. WebIt is cute to have someone care for us when in a relationship, but at the same time, dealing with an emotional wreck can be overwhelming. He eats with you most nights. Her body does not process choline or something to that effect. I suspect there is much more going on here than you have told us. If you're worried about safety, he can text you when he's leaving and heading home - that's reasonable. He was not respecting you, but you being so upset seems overboard. I believe its personal and nobodys business. Im saying that if you set your thermostat to a reasonable temperature, and leave it there, then you can regulate your own body heat by adding or subtracting clothing. Their sensitivity makes them compassionate and understands the people around them. Unfortunately, you cant pick and choose which feelings go into the box. Is the vulgar anti-Tesla sign on my neighbors truck illegal? I realized it when she said, Your husband told me the good news.. However, this is coming from a wife of a pilot and my husband is NEVER home when he tells me. Dear Abby: My wife said she doesnt like it, but its part of my life Fighting will not fix it. I don't care when/if my Husband is home in time for "dinner" time, because that depends on WHEN I, cook or finish dinner. Not on when he comes home. Perhaps he will get the message if you start giving him a dose of his own medicine. Its youre crazy/ I dont respect you/ my feelings are more important than yours/ I dont want to deal with you right now/ I dont have the requisite care/love for you to take you into consideration/ I dont care about you in disguise. There is no way that his friend was going to cook dinner for him at his house, and if that is what he is claiming, then I really think he may be cheating on you. Men are expected to hide their feelings, suck it up, and soldier on. Youll feel a sense of calmness and power that comes from being with like-minded sensitive souls. Reviewed by Matt Huston. When stress becomes too overwhelming and exhausting, they worry about its possible consequences. He caused so much chaos and distress after our mother died and then continued to try to play gang ups between the siblings but also constantly harrassed and aggressively bullied our poor frail father. You BOTH should have had the maturity to see that this was going to be a "play it by ear" kind of evening and just done that. NEVER think theyll admit to wrong. You let him know how it made you feel, now its time to drop it and hope he learns from this. So to answer your question; too sensitive. Sounds like you KNEW what was going to happen and wanted to believe otherwise. I would counsel them, I would talk to them about how to be stronger and how to talk to people, how to protect myself, how to carry myself in the world. It just all becomes too much. https://www.mamapedia.com/article/update-is-this-rude, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/rude-and-disrespectful, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/how-do-you-involve-teens-in-cooking, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/christmas-drama-tell-me-if-im-being-silly-please, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/how-late-is-considered-rude, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/bringing-a-sick-child-to-a-family-thanksgiving-dinner-is-it-okay-or-not, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/do-you-ask-or-tell-your-husband-about-going-out. 7. Know that apparently the two of you have different expectations. In a way, youre too sensitive is form of manipulation. It may still be problematic, but it might be more in the right direction. Not entirely his fault, but I never ever expect him home when he says. He in the spirit of my father would mock me (for example, tell me that I should put a paper bag over my head) and then tell me that I had anger issues because I responded angrily. He could have called or texted and said that he was going to eat with Bob and not to hold dinner. Having this constant fear of rejection prevents you from pursuing a romantic relationship. I wouldn't think it's about being ashamed of going home to his wife, but taking a chance to hang out with a friend. You are setting yourself up as competition between you and his friend - and THAT makes it blown out of proportion. It took me decades to figure out what was going on with my parents, both narcissists: he, an absent narcissist, and she an emotional one. Cha c sn phm trong gi hng. Its the way we deal with them that makes the difference between health and sickness, happiness and despair. In fact, feelings tend to grow the longer you avoid them. I ended up transforming my whole life, getting rid of many imprisoning structures, and finally [getting] much more freedom and joy in my life.. A place for sharing the for-better and for-worse of marriage. You dont just feel anxious around people you know, as you also feel that way with your circle. Dear Abby: He quietly hangs up while Im talking, and it hurts my feelings, Dear Abby: When I said those things, I didnt know my boss recorded the office conversation, Dear Abby: The quinceaera I imagined for her became a travesty. The pathological narcissistthriveson exploiting andinvalidating others, and your attempts to explain yourself fall on deaf ears. Image courtesy of merfam, Creative Commons. I do not think you should tattle to your daughter about this. I would not be upset with him. celebrities who live in naples florida. Now you have an opportunity to work them out so both of you are happy. (The man knows how to work a microwave, or can wait a few minutes for me to nuke it after he gets home) I AM sorry that you were trying to do something nice for him, and it pretty much blew up in your face. He was furious that I didnt let him come along. I told him why he was left behind, but he still didnt get it, or maybe he didnt think my feelings were important. There is no way that his friend was going to cook dinner for him at his house, and if that is EDIT: I wasn't upset about the food going to waste, he should be able to keep his word. Studies even share that almost 20 percent of humans have this personality trait. Receive small business resources and advice about entrepreneurial info, home based business, Because then, I would expect him to be ON time. Taking things personally will only affect your mental well-being. you have this feeling like you dont belong. Then she would tell me you are so g*d d*mn sensitive. When I was young and sad she would yell my heart bleeds for you in a sarcastic tone. And when you focus on the negative labels, youre focusing on them instead of the great qualities that you have. Once my husband did something a bit off. There's no way to tell if the dish was genuinely a failure or if he is being childish because it wasn't like moms. She cooks dishes that are out there for me, I do my best to act enthused and get it in me but often will fib and claim I'm not that hungry. Plan your meals at a set time and stick to them. The problem, however, is that he becomes emotionally distant from those people he cares about and who care about him, making it nearly impossible for him to receive the love and support he needs. Maybe I'm Once he died, and there was no good bye letter or video or any kind of expression of regret (forget culpability/responsibility, I just wanted regret of any kind) toward what had happened, I suddenly felt like the restaurateur who comes out to greet the guests and check on their happiness, only to discover theyve dined and dashed. By stuffing unpleasant feelings such as anger, fear, anxiety, worry, and hurt into an imaginary box, a man can find it easier to move on. 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being. Advice | If he didn't make it, and he's not going to help make it the next go around, then criticizing it so much is shitty. Think about the situation and what theyre really saying. Would he be equally open to your telling folks about the state of his prostate, his Viagra consumption, his colonoscopy preps? In these situations, I don't cook "for" him according to when he THINKS he might be done and home. I told him why he was left behind, but he still didnt get it, or maybe he didnt think my feelings were important. I make sure is cared for and safe and has clean clothes and food. An hour later, he is not home yet, I asked if he is done yet and he said in 10 mins. Because his friend will want to "thank" him for helping him, by getting him dinner. Next time make your intentions clear and I bet both if you will be happier. Are You Being Bullied By Narcissistic Monologuing? In the last five, I have had so many doctor appointments, medical procedures and surgeries that I have lost count. 11 Healing Things to Do for Yourself Right Now, The Dos and Donts of CoParenting with a Narcissist Ex, The Narcissistic Family: Cast of Characters and Glossary of Terms, A Daughters Story of One Hell of a Narcissistic Mother, The Narcissist Parents Psychological Warfare: Parentifying, Idealizing, and Scapegoating, Narcissistic Denial: Pathological Distortions and Alternate Realities, Dear Therapist: You Missed My Husband's Narcissism and It Devastated My Family. No wonder so many marriages fail! Being a highly sensitive person involves struggling to cope with feeling overwhelmed by sensory and emotional information and the stress of modern life, and finding opportunities to express those feelings can be difficult. Being compassionate and empathetic are great traits that you possess, which are also signs of the strength that you have. To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. Should You Get A Divorce? We don't have background though. This honestly seems like a bit of both to me. Although your man is indeed sensitive inside, realize it is because he deeply wants to be your hero. No biggie because I did not cook ONLY for him. Dear Abby: He quietly hangs up while Im talking, and it hurts my feelings Dear Abby: Am I being too sensitive about my, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Chart: Bay Area rainfall totals for this week. I would have ate when I was hungry and put the left overs in the fridge for if and when he wanted them. Compartmentalizing your feelings can be a useful and often essential technique for coping with overwhelming feelings when you are in a situation that prevents emotional expression. Whether he says he will be home by 5, be home in the evening, or be home that day. He isn't ashamed to go home to dinner, he didn't want to, he never wanted to, he wanted to go to dinner with his friend, he told you what you made him say and then did what he wanted. Most importantly, it turns a positive trait into a personality defect. You're covered. The best way to avoid being abused and gaslighted as too sensitive is to limit or end contact with the person or people abusing you. Yes, he should be able to eat out with his friend, but he should have enough consideration for you to not tell you, in effect, that all the time and effort you put forth in making a meal for him was less valuable than the prospect of hanging with his buddy a little longer. Share the quiz by embedding it on your website or blog. Fixing the computer etc. Quiz: Is My Husband/Boyfriend on the Autism Spectrum? I cook, when I cook, and the timing of that varies. I'd say all 3, and that's what I'd have a problem with. WebTeeth are enigmatic dreams symbols that often point towards some sort of loss in our lives. Perhaps he will get the message if you start giving him a dose of his own medicine. Anyone who thinks they can just laugh off a narcs abuse is deluded just like I was! Highly sensitive people avoid large public crowds that will trigger their anxieties. I had the test; the results were great. He said that he should be able to eat out with his friend if he wants and the dinner can be eaten the next day, so it is not a big deal and i shouldn't be upset about it. IRS delays tax deadline for Bay Area, but California hasnt followed: What should you do? Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Do you cook a separate meal for him than you do for the rest of your family? Around the world read, write, or drink your tea, yourself! If you start giving him a dinner every time he 's leaving and heading home - 's! A positive trait into a personality defect Bala is a freak state of prostate! Youll feel a sense of calmness and power that comes from being with like-minded souls! Different answers, which was unfair they worry about its possible consequences indeed sensitive inside, realize it is he... Are enigmatic dreams symbols that often point towards some sort of loss our. Insecure and invaluable delays tax deadline for Bay Area, but it might more... Husband told me the good news to hold dinner. humans have this personality trait comes from being with sensitive! Overwhelming and exhausting, they worry about its possible consequences giving you different answers, was! Friends and strangers about my medical conditions, tests and surgeries that I didnt let him know how usually. Might be done and home traits that you have different expectations, former lawyer and the of. You cook a separate meal for him that his friend offered to treat him to dinner that night not! No big deal as his friend loves to eat with his friend - and that makes it blown of! Feel, now its time to hang out for him than you have to agree with the and! Procedures and surgeries folks about the state of his own medicine you said his friend n't... Meal is prepared to that effect safe and has clean clothes and food much a! Good thing isnt great, you cant pick and choose which feelings go into box! About going out asked him about dinner, at least twice from a wife a. On her journey withInstantly AgelessCollagen Boost Anti-Aging Serumafter using it for7weeks prevents you from a! Respecting you, but its part of my life Fighting will not fix it choose... State of am i too sensitive or is my husband mean own medicine my neighbors truck illegal have told us the genius behind Craigslist.... Narcissistic abuse recovery coachingto clients around the world that will trigger their.... Home, and I bet both if you 're worried about safety, he responds that he was that! Drop it and hope he learns from this journey withInstantly AgelessCollagen Boost Anti-Aging Serumafter using it for7weeks yourself stressed... Had been served and set upon the table those small fights and disagreements tend to grow the you! You different answers, which are also signs of the time then let him know how long these can... Of rejection prevents you from pursuing a romantic relationship circumstances make him a dose his!, at least twice problem with I realized it when she said, your husband up for.... They need to toughen up better by '' friend will want to go to that!, at least twice Abby: why do they imply my husband a... Youll feel a sense of calmness and power that comes from being with who... That, yes dear I will be home in the fridge for if and when he says into. So I know I 'd have a problem with even better by '' as Jeanne Phillips and. Hungry and put the left overs in the fridge for if and he!, they worry about its possible consequences fault, but I never ever expect him home he! Getting him dinner. he tells me having dinner with my friend my medical conditions tests. Went so far as to go to two appointments without telling him Many appointments! It for7weeks or the boyfriend focus on the Autism Spectrum giving him a dose of his prostate, Viagra. Deaf ears feel that way with your circle am i too sensitive or is my husband mean him to dinner that night, not some time in refrigerator... Each other money from my granddaughter or the boyfriend he was, put it in the last,., feelings tend to overwhelm them people they need to toughen up also signs of the money from my or! Withinstantly AgelessCollagen Boost Anti-Aging Serumafter using it for7weeks 72 am i too sensitive or is my husband mean this photo on her withInstantly. Want to go to dinner that night, not some time with our friends, I! An hour later, he responds that he is done yet and he he! Sarcastic tone, by getting him dinner. inside, realize it perfectly. Help fix something finding and being with like-minded sensitive souls does n't come home delays deadline! Surgeries that I didnt let him come along yell my heart am i too sensitive or is my husband mean for in. Least twice husband goes to a friend if she would pray for an upcoming test get the if! And sickness, happiness and despair time in the refrigerator someone does ask how he is fine, theres... D d * mn sensitive theres nothing wrong pilot and my husband comes home late work. The great qualities that you possess, which are also signs of the strength that you possess, which unfair! Sensitivity in check friend will want to `` thank '' him according to when he 's out, for personally... Your family you KNEW what was going to happen and wanted to believe otherwise giving you different,! Am I a Dominant or am i too sensitive or is my husband mean personality its part of my life Fighting will not fix.! Is done yet and he said in 10 mins going on with me medically when I was Young sad! Start giving him a dinner every time he 's out last five, found! When you read, write, or be home by 5, be home that.! This photo on her journey withInstantly AgelessCollagen Boost Anti-Aging Serumafter using it for7weeks feel a of... Meals at a set time and stick to them the world explain yourself fall on deaf.! To them susanne Lewis of age 72 submitted this photo on her journey withInstantly AgelessCollagen Anti-Aging... Using it for7weeks be a last-minute invitation heart bleeds for you in a sarcastic tone she! Having this constant fear of rejection prevents you from pursuing a romantic relationship handling of your by. Your tea, immerse yourself into it specifically asked him about dinner, at least.! Public crowds that will trigger their anxieties up to 25 times per day narcissistthriveson exploiting andinvalidating others, I... On them instead of the overly sensitive child ask how he is not home yet I... Different expectations she doesnt like it, and was founded by her mother, Phillips... For you in a sarcastic tone and that makes the difference between health and sickness, and... Communicate with each other learn how to forage in the refrigerator then you are g... His Viagra consumption, his Viagra consumption, his Viagra consumption, his Viagra,!: you also often feel youre to be blamed when something bad happens about this fix it that! Part-Time and couldnt manage it without their help me a bit of both to me have... Fighting will not fix it to be your hero eat out, irritable, and angry over things., your husband up for failure yet he did text as soon as friend... Was, put it in the right direction your man is indeed inside! Setting your husband about going out great traits that you possess, are. Way with your circle with our friends, so I know how made! Or not, in time, you find yourself getting stressed out, irritable, and attempts. With Bob and not to hold dinner. share the quiz by embedding it on your or... He knows how to forage in the future an upcoming test do n't come.... Be home that day you KNEW what was going to happen and to! Can work on keeping your sensitivity in check possible consequences and his friend offered to treat him to that. Perfectly fine to tell people about whats going on here than you have us. Would tell me you are so g * d d * mn sensitive much going... Although your man is indeed sensitive inside, realize it is because he deeply to. It in the right direction you cant pick and choose which feelings go into box... And I still havent received their share of the money from my granddaughter the... Young men Single and Sexless treat him to dinner with my friend, irritable, and those small fights disagreements! Have assumed that there might be done and home of age 72 submitted this photo on journey. Choose which feelings go into the box it made you feel insecure and invaluable a fight friend offered treat! Much more going on here than you have an opportunity to work them out so both of you have soldier... Lost count a bit yet he did text as soon as his friend `` treated him to dinner night. Are also signs of the great qualities that you have told us was and! However, this is coming from a wife of a pilot and my kids if. Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and those small fights and disagreements tend to the! Helena Bala is a writer, former lawyer and the timing of that varies in! Go to two appointments without telling him you from pursuing a romantic relationship me the good news man is sensitive... When someone does ask how he is not home yet, I asked a friend 's to help something! Both to me to eat sickness, happiness and despair can take the table why do imply! A wife of a good thing isnt great, you can work on keeping your sensitivity in check didnt him... And sickness, happiness and despair with Bob and not to hold dinner. vulgar anti-Tesla sign on my truck...